Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
