Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
