I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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