WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize