This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
