Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
