She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just had sex on a roof
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize