pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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