It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
