the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
