I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
