You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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