You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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