the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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