my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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