It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
