every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just google imaged poop.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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