Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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