I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
