There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
