We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
