Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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