Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize