I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
