You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't put those talents on a resume
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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