He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
