the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize