I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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