Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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