Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
