I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
