That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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