it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
