garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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