Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My vagina is very pro this idea
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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