this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
