I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
