I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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