she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
