1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
