Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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