I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
