The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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