he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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