Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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