Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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