god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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