I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
