Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize