Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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