whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
