Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
