So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My vagina is officially offended.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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