literally had 100 drinks last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
