I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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