i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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