Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
