Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
