When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
